His faithfulness...amidst my crisis of faith:
All scriptures taken from Psalms 116
"Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live."
There was a time when I didn't want to call upon Him anymore....I tried really hard to stop praying to God.
I was upset about the birth of my youngest son. It didn't seem like a single prayer I'd prayed those nine months was answered. My main prayer had been for a "trauma free birth" and what happened seemed to be the opposite. This was my third home birth. (I loved having our babies in the comfort of our own home)
This baby was stuck in the birth canal with its heart rate dropping...
"The Pains of death surrounded me. Then I called on the name of the Lord..."
My hubby called on the Lord really loudly and urgently!!! The midwife called too, only her call was to 9-1-1!!!
And I prayed and pushed for all I was worth and then some, which had to be supernatural!
"I was brought low, and He saved me. For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from falling."
Just as the paramedics knocked on our door, Andrew was born! Weighing a whopping ten and a half pounds!!! Yes, that explains why he was stuck!
(I'm only 5 ft. tall!)
"Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you!"
He was absolutely gorgeous! He had such long beautiful fingers. Fingers, that I thought at that moment, might play the piano someday. (but are actually going to play the electric guitar in our family worship band) : )
His breathing sounded strange. The best way to describe it is to say that he had a little snort. (kind of like a pig) The midwife thought it might be a result of the distress he'd been through and she sent him with the paramedics to the hospital. It was unbelievably hard to have to stay behind but I wasn't in any condition to go along. I charged my hubby not to ever let Andrew out of his sight (and he never did! He held him through every single test and he treasured the bonding time they had together! He'll never forget it!)
"I found trouble and sorrow."
Off they went: the paramedics, my hubby and my brand new, minutes-old baby, with sirens blaring and getting fainter by the second. And there I was, still sitting on the floor of my bedroom feeling like I might actually die after all that I had been through.
"O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!"
Just me and the midwife ....and she was in a bad mood! You see, the birth had taken so long (12 hrs.) that we made her miss her appointment to go knocking door to door and she was seriously grumpy about it. She was a Jehovah's Witness. (we would've preferred a Christian midwife but we couldn't find one in our price range this time) Oh how grateful I was, when a dear friend from church came and took over caring for me. (and the midwife left!) My goal was to get up to the hospital as soon as possible without like, passing out and being admitted myself! Because I felt like death warmed over! Yes, I did. : )
To be continued....
Posted later: I forgot to mention that we live thousands of miles from all of our family members and that is why they weren't at the birth or there afterward to help. But, 2 days later, my wonderful in-laws flew in and met Andrew and cared for all of us! It was a blessing!