I'm keeping it real here today, but please don't read into this that I'm mad at God about my husband's death. Thankfully, I can say that I am not. That is a road that leads to nowhere!
-I've been on it before.
Just processing and healing. He is the Wonderful Counselor, after all!
The other night, the kids and I were listening to a sermon about having agapae love for other people.
Agapae is the Greek word for a love that is sacrificial and unconditional. It is the love that God demonstrated for us when He gave His only Son to die for us, when we did not love Him in return. It is the love that He commands us to have for other people like our enemies. Ouch!
It is a love that expects nothing in return.
It is an act of the will and a commitment.
I got distracted from the sermon and stopped listening because something hit me that I had never thought of before:
I need to agapae God!
When life doesn't make sense on your end, sometimes even loving God, is an act of the will and a commitment!
My need to love Him in an unconditional way, was blowing my mind and it really helped me!
Since my resident theologian is no longer with us,
I had to use Google! ; ) And I found plenty of verses commanding us to agapae God!
I never realized this verse was agapae:
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength..." Luke 10:27
This verse in Job is a favorite of mine right now:
"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Job 13:16
I am feeling 'slayed.' And that word is as dramatic as I feel, so how cool is that?! : )
I love that it doesn't say 'obey' Him or 'serve' Him. It says TRUST.
He knows best!
So, if you feel disappointed by Him, or the circumstances in your life hurt, and your prayers haven't been answered in the way you thought they should...Know that I'm right there with you! Let's get our AGAPAE on and just trust...
Besides, as Peter said "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words that give eternal life." John 6:68
He is our One and Only!