"Blessed are those who dwell in Your house."
"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand,
I would rather be a door keeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness."
I was homeschooling our youngest son, who was in high school, when my husband died of cancer. And when I was still hurting and raw, several months later, a dear friend asked me if I wanted to fill in as the receptionist at our church for a month. I did! And one month has turned into almost two years! I don't completely 'dwell in His house' but it feels like it sometimes since I work and worship here! LOL And I definitely fit the role of a "door keeper" since I lock/unlock the doors every day!
So, while I was new to working a full time job outside my home (believe me, raising and educating four kids was certainly a full time job -LOL) and new to being a widow/single parent and still grieving, God placed me at this job for a season of time when SO many hurting people were calling and walking in the church doors all the time. And there I was!
I found out that it is hard to stay a shy introvert when God has other plans. : )
I realized that the cancer battle I had helped fight, had given me a new capacity for compassion that I had never had before. And in talking to people from all walks of life, I realized that so many were hurting way worse than I was! And comforting them comforted me. ❤
How very Biblical!
I found out that the remarks from the really grumpy ones didn't bother me. The battle had given me some thick skin. So what people said in THEIR pain, didn't hurt my feelings like I thought it would.
Due to grief, it really felt like my brain didn't function as fast as everyone else around me in the beginning and sometimes that was hard. But I reminded myself that it was just that -grief!
And not my lack of brains ; ) and that helped get me through it.
There were times when something would trigger a wave of grief and I'd be a crying mess for no apparent reason, which was embarrassing. But no one minded. My sweet co-workers would pray with me or offer to take my place for awhile so I could regroup. -I probably spent the good part of that first year teary eyed just over the prayer requests we were praying over.
I found out that sometimes my story can come in handy. I've had distraught women say "You don't understand what it is like to be a widow" or "You don't know what it is like to have God take someone you love." Actually, I do.
I've learned that being in "His courts" can be heavy, busy, stressful, hilarious and fun all in the same day. And this is the place He chose to heal me.
Thankful,
~Becky
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