And there are so many layers to the healing process.
I'm sure I can't ever put into words how awful it is to loose a spouse, so I won't try.
For a long time, I felt like I was a person walking around with a gaping wound and all that raw pain was just gushing out for all to see.
I wasn't one to try to keep from feeling the pain. I went all in. - I think I cried everyday for 15 months. I read somewhere that suppressing it would really screw me up -LOL so I didn't try that.
It took about a year and half for my gaping wound to finally feel like it grew a scab. (gross analogy but it's all I've got)
And now, at almost two and half years, I think I just feel scared.
And speaking of scars, I love these lyrics:
"Every pain and scar -a canvas of your grace..." (Hillsong)
"Thank you for the scars I bear, they declare You are my healer..." (Elevation)
My daughter is fond of a song that says "Let this chaos count" (Yes, please!)
And this verse (which I rearranged a little) is one of my favorites right now:
"...after you have suffered a little while...the God of all grace...will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Pet. 5:10
I really feel like He is doing all of that for my family.
He is restoring us. He is renewing our faith and healing our emotions.
And I take comfort in the fact that we will be made strong, firm and steadfast.
He is good and He is faithful!
In the last couple of years, He's either moved mountains for me or scaled them with me! ❤
Isn't He kind?
Does grief ever end?
As cliche as it sounds... time does heal. Thank God!
~Becky
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